Miss Pregnopotamus

Update

2008-03-28T13:10:00.005+01:00

The actual two weeks before labour and the labour itself were really tough and surprising!

After the previous post I suffered from almost constant pelvic pain and what felt like excruciating period pain around my lower tummy and back. I took panadols almost constantly and spent alot of time cooped up in the apartment praying for the labour to come.

The week before he was born I woke up at 5 am every night with excruciating pain and/or contractions. The discomfort was so bad (even with panadol) I could not go back to sleep so I would have to get up and try to watch TV. I was exhausted.

I had a bloody show on Thursday 31st January at 8 am when I went to the toilet. I was shocked to find blood in the toilet and again we walked over to maternity to be told that I had indeed lost my mucus plug. (This is the plug to the cervix that protects the cervix and any infections getting into the womb. It is a bit of a stupid thing though as it can come away weeks before you actually have the baby. Realistically the midwife said women usually go into labour a couple of days after the show. So there was something a little more concrete!!! I continued to spot blood for the rest of the pregnancy until he was born.

On Friday 1st February I awoke at 5 am and cried my eyes out on the sofa alone. I simply could not continue any longer. Wes heard my sobs from the bedroom and berated me for not waking him up to console me. The truth is, I was fed up of the same complaint I had, and what could anyone do about it? I was at my wits end and each visit to the hospital resulted in my being sent home again with nothing but..

......yes, you guessed it.. more panadol!

On Saturday 2nd February I refused to eat or get out of bed at all, I was beside myself! This really was my crying call! Wes dragged me out of bed and over to the maternity ward where he explained how worried he was about my anxiety and pains. He told the midwife that he didn't feel I was coping at all with all the pain and false contractions, and that I really needed some help mentally,not just physically. I was mentally cracking up.

The midwife went away to ring my consultant who prescribed three sleeping tablets for the next three nights, given the fact that I hadn't had a full nights sleep for well over a month. They also told me that with my consent they would admit me into the ward for the next couple of nights to keep an eye on me (they thought that I might feel better in the presence of women who understand these pains during this difficult time, than in the flat with Wes. They were also a bit worried about my mental state). I would have agreed to this, only the thought of seeing all these women come and go with their babies would upset me even more. I decided to take the sleeping pills and go home. In hindsight I should have stayed because Connor was born the following evening, and I might have been in maternity already instead of being sent home by the stupid midwife who didn't realise that I was already about to give birth when she sent me home!

That evening though, I took a tablet at 9pm and swear by my own blood that I slept throughout the night without opening my eyes once. At last I had a full nights sleep and it did me the world of good! I awoke a little more bright-eyed and far less depressed. I won't say that all my pains miraculously disappeared, but they didn't bring me down to such a low point that I would do nothing but cry.

On Sunday 3rd February Wesley and I took a walk into Casemates Square. We sat and had a coffee and I ate a large slice of chocolate cake!! I was starving and somewhat unsettled in myself. I was having contractions all day long about every 15 - 20mins or so. I tried very hard to ignore them (what else would I do?)

Finally we returned home and I was surprised to find that at 8pm they felt a little stronger whereas they usually would have either stopped for a while, or remained consistent. This made we wonder then whether I truly was in early labour or not! Of course we were both utterly sick of wondering this day after day and ending up disappointed, so I decided to ignore the pain again, until I had something more concrete like my waters breaking or a head hanging out between my legs!

Nevertheless we settled down to watch LOST on TV at 10 pm. I lost track of time after this completely.

As soon as we began watching I could not concentrate on my favourite programme. The contractions seemed to be coming thicker and faster. I moaned and walked around the room and told Wes that I thought this 'could' really be it. He looked at me with that 'oh god here we go again' face and rubbed my back for me. "I really wish this WAS it, for your own sake," he said. I had not idea what time it was when I started to lose concentration on anything except for the pain I was feeling. At that point Wes collected my bag and called my parents to collect us downstairs.

Mum and dad turned up about 20mins later and by that time I was breathing heavily. The contrations were now coming every 5 minutes and I was in alot of pain. Not enough to make me scream, but I held my breath with each one.

At maternity I had a midwife called Rosemary. I was very disappointed with her attitude. I felt as though she did not take my situation seriously and did not take any consideration to the fact that I was in alot of pain. She took one look at my cervix, which we were all surprised to find was completely shut. No dilation at all. The cervix must be 10 centimetres dilated before the baby can descend. I have read that on average the cervix dilates about 1 centimetre an hour. For this reason she did not believe that I was in active labour, and gave me two codeine tablets and told me to go back home! Wes and I stood there in shock. I was gobsmacked by this point and felt cheated. I told her that I had a terrible feeling about going back home as the pain was horrendous and I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

That midwife did not believe I was going to have that baby anytime soon and she sent me and Wes packing. The last thing she said was that I should go home and try to get some sleep and eat inbetween the contractions. What the f***? My eyes were rolling around their socketswith agony, I couldn't talk without gasping away. I looked as though I had just passed the Finish line of the London Marathon. The pain was immense!

I left racked with sobs. Wes was completely shocked. How could they kick us out when I was so clearly in agony. My parents stood in silence outside the ward as I held on to Wesley, my breathing so erratic I could not by this point speak but only groan heavily, like a wounded animal. We all drove back to the flat in silence, except for my groaning at the back,my parents hugely upset and very shocked that I was not admitted into the ward. They were extremely worried and it must have been close to 1 am when we left the hospital.

I hardly remember walking into the flat because as soon as Wes opened the door I stumbled through the corridor and into the bedroom. I felt as though I had been stabbed a hundred times in my abdomen. I sat on the bed barely able to breath. Wes ran to the kitchen to make me tea and toast. I remember looking up at the ceiling and shouting... No...No..No as the contractions gripped my whole abdomen and shook it so violently and painfully, I wanted to climb the walls.

Tears came tumbling down my cheeks as he returned with a plate of toast. I took one look at it and threw the toast across the room. His face turned white.

"I

NEED

TO

GO"

I screamed at the top of my voice.

I felt huge pressure building below and the pain was indescribable. I began whimpering inbetween the contractions, SO VERY AFRAID of the intensity of the next one.

Wes called the midwife again and said:

"LOOK! She is in immense pain and delirious. She has to come back, she has to!!"

I sobbed on the bed expecting to hear the response, 'no she can't come back yet' but she didn't she told us to go back in!
Pathetic.

I had to call my parents AGAIN so they could collect me downstairs and drive us to the ward. My father came alone this time, my mother simply could not do it again so late due to her back problems.

My father was quiet, afraid of me. I made myself silent so that I wouldn't panic him. I endured the pains silently by biting down hard onto my mobile in the back seat. I was exploding inside yet I dared not scream in front of him.

Beyond this point everything is a blur!

I only remember these points which happened as soon as I got back into the maternity ward:

I was in the monitoring room and I vomited all over the bed and floor due to the intensity of my pain. I vaguely remember the midwife uttering something about having to consult a doctor first before giving me any more pain relief as she had given the codeine not long ago before I had left.

My next recollection is that they walked me into another room (not the labour ward but one of the beds).I remember whimpering like a wounded animal the whole way, I do not think I was completely conscious.

I remember standing up and my waters broke. I looked down and saw blood and told Wes to help me! He was by my side the whole time. I felt a jab in my bum which was diamorphine. I then felt a huge urge to push whilst standing up in my clothes.

All hell broke loose as Wes screamed DON'T PUSH!! We were not in the labour room. I was fully dressed, not even lying down and the midwife wasn't in the room.

He told me that she came running back screaming DON'T PUSH as she had heard him from the Corridor. I don't know what the hell she was doing but less than one hour after she sent me home Connor was on his way out of the birth canal.

I remember trying to stay on my feet as I swayed and babbled incoherently. I was mortified my labour had turned into a such a chaotic comedy show.

I had endured all those pains that night on nothing more than strong panadols up to the point where I was about to give birth, and all because nobody believed that I was so advanced at that point!

The next thing I recall is falling onto a bed and being wheeled down the corridor where by this point I couldn't take anymore. I screamed blue murder at the next contraction and told the midwife to 'Fucking give me an epidural NOW" She ignored me.!

I then screamed again, and saw the horror on Wes face. I demanded she put me to sleep. Give me a general PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I screamed. Again she ignored me.

I then continued to scream and scream and scream until my legs were pushed up and she shouted PUSH NOW.. I felt such relief and I gave huge gutteral cries which I think the entire hospital must have heard. On the last two contractions the diamorphine finally kicked in and I fell back, my eyes rolling around my head. I was so shocked at the severity of pain I felt and how he came out so quickly I really thought I was dying that night.

He was born after one HUGEEEEE push and then it was all over.

Silence overtook all of us except for me panting. I really wanted to murder that midwife for sending me home which resulted in such a massive shock to my system (and to Wes to some degree). I had no time to be administered proper dosages of pain relief or to even prepare my mind for the fact that I was even in labour at all! I was gutted, save for the first sight of my son on my stomach. The moment of glory. His little limbs flying about in the air on my tummy. I didn't get to see him properly as I was too much in shock and bowled over with the diamorphine. the next thing I felt were my legs being held up by stirrups. The baby was handed to Wesley who sat in the corner with him.I had torn quite viciously and she began to stitch me up, handing me tube to suck gas and air. That was theonly point in the whole evening where I laughed and said to Wes, "This is GREAT. We're taking this home with us!" It still hadn't occured to me though that I had just given birth. I thought we were all playing around, I didn't really know what I was doing lying there. I tried to pop my head up to see if I was still pregnant or not. I didn't know what the hell was happening when she was stitching me up. So Wesley babbled away to his son with delight whilst I lay there blood dripping down to the floor. I was completely and utterly shattered!! I dont remember much else except for a little tug on my left nipple soon after.

They had put him to my breast!!!!!!!!!

I tried to savour the moment even though I was high as a kite. They took him away then as I was too screwed up to do anything but lie there in a daze.

I felt Wes kiss my cheek and then run home to fetch our baby bag! In all that commotion we didn't even have baby gro to dress our baby in!!

A few hours later I awoke and it all began to sink in. I was hormonally washed ashore, and I cried quietly into my pillow. I then stood up and decided that I would never cry about it again and walked over to a little cot that had been placed beside my bed. That was really the first time I saw my son's perfect tiny face and at that point I knew that I would have gone through that night, that pain, that madness...a million times over again. Just to have that one moment.

Connor Edward Acheson was born on his due date in the early hours of Monday 4th February 2008 at 2.29 am. The entire labour took 1 hour and 30 minutes beginning from the time I first walked in, to the point where my son came into the world.

Two weeks to go, but suffering like hell!

2008-01-21T12:50:00.001+01:00

Officially I am 38 weeks today and have two weeks to go until the due date.

I have again visited the Maternity ward twice since my last post here due to various aches and pains, most notably on Saturday last where I spent the entire afternoon and evening suffering from painful contractions.
I really felt as though labour was beginning, the only problem was that they were all over the place timing wise; just terribly irregular. The midwives simply did not want to see me unless the contractions were very regular - something like every 5 or 10 minutes for over an hour and of course much too painful to bear. Even though I was aware of this fact, at midnight I called the ward in tears and desperation telling them that I was stressed out and very upset after 9 hours of pains and that I couldn't go on anymore!
But are they regular, she asked.
NO but I can't sleep and I've very distressed by now I shouted.
The midwife took pity and told me to come in for a check up so they could monitor the baby and trace the contractions.
Well guess what?
As soon as they hitched me up to the machine the big contractions all stopped except for a couple of very mild ones every 20 mins and then they just stopped.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Not one single BIG painful contraction in the entire hour I sat on that machine after i'd been suffering with them all day!!!
"This is all just pre labour pains," she said "And yes they can feel like the real thing, but they could go on for days even weeks before established labour begins!"
I was gutted and upset, even Wes was close to breaking point then, knowing that it was all just another false alarm and again we were going to be sent home.
I was given stronger painkillers then paracetamol and given a tens machine which is a little gadget you tape to your back and emits electrical pulses. This helps with the pains.
Unfortunately for me though I was not in labour at all, this was all just pre-labour rubbish that meant diddly squat in terms of when baby would appear! In fact I could spend the next two weeks plus having painful contractions and only until they become regular or my waters break will they actually want me in for the birth!
So Wes and I returned home feeling flat, miserable and rejected. I was upset as hell over the whole thing. It seems like our baby just doesn't want to come out yet, but is causing an awful lot of stress and hassle!
This morning I awoke again with painful crampy pains in my back and sides which I am usually suffering from most days now. But no contractions since Saturday.
I am praying daily for REAL contractions to begin and trying my very best not to become depressed with all the fake pains coming and going.
After all my calls and trips to maternity I am very embarrassed to ring them again and I have told Wes that I refuse to call them, as it seems that as soon as I get there everything stops hurting! Its a goddam nightmare, those midwives all know me by my first name now!

On top of this stress we are constantly besieged with people saying things like "Haven't you had that baby yet??" I know Wes is getting alot of this pressure at work right now as they are eager to know when they will have to let him go on paternity leave. They don't seem to realise that our baby will come out when HE feels like it, not us.

My own mother calls every day for updates which puts alot of pressure on me and I am disappointed every morning when I wake up and realise that I have not made any progress.

This stress is also accompanied by the stress of having to watch baby movements and make sure he is moving at least 10 times a day. He usually does this, but there are days when he is quieter than usual and those days I spend fretting and worrying, eating sweet things, drinking cold drinks to get him moving...... which is only causing me (you guess it) more stress and worry!Usually by that time I have worked myself up into a complete state, and thats when he begins to thrash around and kick me and so I feel like a total idiot for having called maternity AGAIN!!
I am told that all this stress and worry will only push my blood pressure up, which makes me stress even more about being stressed and pushing my blood pressure up!
It's a never ending nightmare and even though I am acutely aware it will all end soon as everyone says, this last month is really becoming one of the most stressful periods of my life.
Hurry up baby for gods sake!!!!!

One Night at Maternity

2008-01-12T19:02:00.000+01:00

On Friday 11th January I decided to visit Maternity to check baby's movements. He had not been as active as the previous day so the midwife called me in to spend an hour on the monitor. Well as expected baby was absolutely fine, and just having a lazy day, whereas my blood pressure unexpectedly hit borderline high levels. In no time the doctor appeared and decided they would keep me in that night for monitoring.. Gee Great!

I was escorted to a room in the maternity ward with two beds. I occupied the lovely sea view side of the room and tried to settle in whilst Wes rushed back to the flat to gather my things together for the night. It had to be one of the longest evenings of my life as I lay there doing absolutely nothing much except read and a few sudoku puzzles. But I have to say that the midwives really do provide the best level of care as they seemed to appear every few minutes to check my blood pressure and the food was nice too. It seemed though that every blood pressure check after that, and my blood pressure was back to normal again!

Wes stayed with me most of the evening until he just got too tired, hungry and fed up to keep his eyes open any longer. It's great in maternity as fathers can stay from 10 am to 10 pm daily.
Finally I tried to get some sleep but found it very hard with the bright corridor lights filtering into the room all night; voices laughing or chattering in the corridor, and the fact that at around 1 pm, a lady came into the ward screaming with labour pain. Poor woman and poor me for hearing this, I thought to myself as I stuffed my fingers in my ears! It didnt last for long though - sounded like it was quite quick for her!
This morning my blood pressure was totally back to normal so the doctor lets me go and as per usual we trot back to the flat until the next episode occurs! Poor Wes looks more knackered than I do (if thats possible)! It seems our little cherub is draining every ounce of energy from us before he has even arrived! Poor Wes is considering asking maternity how much it costs for me to stay there a week :P
I will be 37 weeks tomorrow, where our baby is officially considered full term by the hospital :)
Knowing that I am only 3 weeks away from my due date is very scary and exciting.
More good news is that our baby's head is fully immersed in the pelvis now and our midwife says there is no way he will move from that position, so we are not going to have to worry about breech birth and all that complicated stuff. The backaches and various aches have increased in the last week, and I've had a few mild contractions, so we are just cautiously looking out for the real thing now, as it can be any day.
Roll on the birth of our long awaited precious child!

Bloody hell, I thought I was having it!

2007-12-31T12:44:00.001+01:00

On Saturday 29th December we got into a panic. I was absolutely 100% fine throughout the day then at 9pm I got twinges in my lower belly, and my lower back started to ache quite badly. At times like this, you take two painkillers you go to bed and pretend nothings happening until something actually happens.

So thats what I did.. I said to Wes "I'm going to bed I feel dodgy," and I did. One hour later I was lying there staring at the ceiling thinking, "Oh my god I think this baby might be trying to dig his way out!!" My stomach began to tighten and we both agreed I should call maternity:
Just in case!!

Maternity ordered me to go in and get it all checked out, it could be early labour they said..
Yikes!!
So I leapt out of bed and dressed in such a hurry, I got my underwear on the wrong way round and couldn't even find a decent bra. To hell with it! I wrapped my coat round me and we both waddled down the street to the hospital a few blocks away. Wes adopted my little waddle ages ago, its the only way he can walk beside me without bouncing off me and crashing into walls!

"My god could I be in labour?" I said to Wes through the scarf wrapped tightly round my mouth. It was bloody cold after just having got out of bed.
"Jesus, it looks like it could be couldn't it," he replied, "Should I bring the camera just in case?"
"Don't be daft" I told him.. lol

At maternity they strapped me up to the fetal monitor. It looked like the baby was quite sleepy then and there was no sign of uterine activity. Even my pains were subsiding.
How bloody typical!
After an hour of waiting and seeing what was going on it appeared that baby had settled down and so had most of my pains. Finally, we went home again, somewhat disappointed in a way as we thought we might be up for a more exciting night than just me tossing and turning in bed groaning about having to visit the toilet for the gazillionth time to pass two drops of urine.

The midwife left us with the strict instruction that I should come in if I have a loss of waters/mucus or if I experience strong pains.
Of course?
How could I ignore any of that!
As it is though, I'm always in bloody pain and ironically, because of that, my pain threshold has reached such a peak that I'd easily mistake a big contraction for a small gassy leak. I decided that any unexpected southern flows would be the reason I finally waddle on out to maternity again otherwise I am just staying in bed and worrying about it all!

Naughty naughty me!

2007-12-31T12:33:00.000+01:00

Wohoo I'm back! I haven't blogged in ages because:

a) I'm a lazy prat and...
b) I've kept my fingers too busy eating everything in sight!

So here I am and boy have I lots of news! Well in case you aren't up to date with events I am officially 35 weeks pregnant today, which means only 5 left weeks to go! How time flies?

At the beginning of December, Wesley and I decided to move temporarily into an apartment next to the hospital in Gibraltar. This is so that I don't have to be alone in our house in Spain all day whilst he is at work, and also so that I don't have to drive up and down anymore. (Tedius and my driving has gotten horrendous in the last month - thanks preggy hormones).

Also, we did not want to grapple with those nasty christmas border queues into Gibraltar if I did happen to pop at home! So here we are and the apartment is sufficient enough. We have everything we need now minus the baby, and we spend lots of time lying on the bed just singing to him and feeling his little kicks in response.

Oh yes, and talking about HIM.. (cough..)

Well, we found out that a few pregnant ladies who had the same gender scan we did by the same doctor was WRONG. So far I have heard of two ladies in maternity who had girls and not boys and vice versa. So after paying all that money to find out we are now going to have to remain openminded about the possiblity that we might be having a girl after all! Good job that we don't have everything in blue, there is one white babygro in our stack.. lol

Im not sure I understand since Dr Gender literally pointed to the baby's willy on the scan. I am wondering that if I do have a girl what on earth was he pointing at? :O

Bonsai Baby!!!!

2007-10-17T11:29:00.000+02:00

Something seriously weird is going on with my brain. In my last post I recanted a ridiculous dream, verging on horrible nightmare where my baby had two faces.
NOW I have been told that I have to write down the dream I had early this morning.
I dreamt that my baby was stuck inside its feeding bottle!!!
It was about the size of a small banana, and there it was stuck inside!
Wesley and I shook him about trying to figure out how to get him out of the hole at the top.
We werent particularly fussed about this problem in the dream.
Wesley just said to me "He'll be fine, look he's drunk all the milk inside the bottle!"
Wtf is all that about?
Seriously...................!!
Help!

Baby with two faces??

2007-10-16T18:54:00.000+02:00

Things have progressed pretty quietly since my last report. The only events which stick in my mind are the very unsettling nightmares I am now getting quite frequently. Thankfully they are interrupted by my gazillion trips to the toilet, but to be honest, some of them are not just strange but plain WEIRD.

Mostly, I have been dreaming that something fatal has happened to my husband. A plane landed on his head in one dream, and in another he just disappeared off the face of the earth! Leaving his lonely pelvic-aching wife rotting in slumber-induced hell!

And sooo, after a long google frenzy I find out that those dreams are my own subconcious hormonally-drenched fears of being left abandoned. But not alone..NO.. abandoned with a grunting teenager, and a newborn.
I really can't imagine a worse fate!
But on a different side of the coin the following dream I had a couple of days ago was extremely frightening to say the least.

"I was bathing my newborn in some sort of large tin basin. Opposite us was a long wall mirror. I lifted him out and held him against me, but as I looked at the mirror opposite the baby was not a baby in the reflection but a child of about six or seven years, his long dangly legs swung around my hips.
I started to wonder how very strange that was, and when I blinked and looked at the mirror again he was smiling back at me in the reflection. It was quite sinister and impossible, as his face was toward my chest at the time. How could that be?
It appeared that he had two faces, on both sides of his head, and when I lifted my hand up to the face staring at me from the mirror (the one at the back of his head) he snarled and went to bite my hand!"

I woke up from this nightmare at that point by crying out loudly. Wesley didn't even hear me as he is a very deep sleeper. I was very tired but I did not want to sleep again straight away for fear of going back into the same thought pattern. I sat up instead and tried to wait for my head to clear. I know that dreams can be manifestations of all sorts of fears and irrational emotions, but that one really frightened the hell out of me I can tell you!

I told Wesley about this dream the following day and he was a bit shocked as it was rather horrible! I had eaten a toasted sandwich very late that night so I suppose what they say about eating too late and bad dreams is pretty accurate. Anyhow, I do not want to have anymore of those THANKS..!

Today I am feeling sort of 'ethereal.'
Love that word..you can have days when you feel floaty and without thoughts!
I am still suffering from the occasional bout of pelvic/hip pain but I have now sort of become accustomed to it.
It is just like my old dog that follows me around all day long, and even waits outside the toilet for me.
This annoyed the hell out of me at first but then you just get used to it and accept it. Yes, just like those pains that follow me around wherever I go these days, and people say 'aw poor you,' or as my mother keeps saying 'take a herbal drink like camomile tea' which is good for tummy upsets. She seems to have no idea that round ligament pain has nothing to do with the stomach at all!

This week we also put together a wardrobe in the baby's room and I attended another midwife appointment on Thursday 11th October.
Everything went swimmingly and when I complained about my pelvic discomfort she pretty much ignored me - as expected.
If its no danger to the baby why the hell should they care if i can walk or not?
She also played around with my urine and a stick, and found protein AGAIN... go figure..
"Maybe you have a urine infection!" she said..
"Yeah yeah ...hmm oh dear.. " I replied without interest.
After having two or three of those so far and a newly discovered male prostate, (according to Dr Dopehead,) I am pretty sure that nothing will ever shock me again!
So that is it for today folks. No news is good news isn't it?
It also means your life is boring as hell!
Sudoku is the most exciting thing in my life AT THE MOMENT!
I am now 24 weeks and 1 day pregnant.
In 111 days I will have a second child (if my skeleton hasn't split in half beforehand!)
I can't wait to see my husband's face when he first looks down at his only son, one precious little boy!
After that I am never opening my legs again!!

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-10-05T13:42:00.001+02:00

Two scans in this last week reveal that our baby is healthy and on track!
One was the regular hospital scan to check all the bits are pieces are there and looking fine!
The private scan revealed that we are expecting A BOY which has totally thrown everyone who said it was a girl. Just about everyone we know were predicting a girl so it did come as a bit of a shock to us that we have another boy!
Gone is my vision of frilly pink dresses and ribbons and in comes more football, video games and bomb site bedrooms!
Oh the joy! lol
The guy was pointing out the willy on screen but I couldn't figure it out. Hence, I trust he knows what he's doing!
Well we are overjoyed anyway and in NO way disappointed with the result. This baby is going to be so spoilt and his daddy is going to be hugely protective of him, since it is likely that I won't be having any more.
It is also my 37th birthday on halloween so I am creeping closer to middle age, which is not too soul destroying, since I know that I still look about 25 years old :P
Our DVD of our little boy at the private scan was not as good as the scan at the hospital.
For £70 we got to find out the sex and took a DVD home, but it features alot of zooming in and out of bones and he seemed alot more keen to take measurements, so we got to see alot of flashes of body parts and no real good profile. We had already had all the measurements and checks done at the hospital so we really wanted to just see the baby.
The gynae confirmed that he was quite stubbornly in a breech position (head somewhere near my belly button, and feet on my bladder, lovely!) He also had his knees right up to his face, he was squatting and not showing us his little features for a nice 4D photograph. It wasn't entirely the gynae's fault we didnt get a good 4d profile, but we did go away ecstatic anyway, and I rushed off, (which is hard for me now because I waddle) to buy a blue hat and mittens in commemoration of the announcement.
They gynae said we could always try again and book another scan at around 28 weeks which is when we should get some lovely 4d facial features, so we might do that. But at £70 a pop its not cheap!
The hospital pictures came out magnificently clear as you can see on the right!

No Scan Sorrows!

2007-09-23T11:10:00.000+02:00

I'm really beginning to feel like a basket case in this pregnancy.
What symptom did I report in my last post?
Oh yeah. The nasty UTI infection (possibly the E.Coli bacteria that seems to have fallen in love with my bladder and won't let go).
Well it doesn't end there ladies and gentlemen.
Two more disappointing episodes for me occur, after finding out that I'm a hermaphrodite:

1) On arrival to the hospital for my 20 week scan I am told that it had been cancelled (sonographer off sick). How disappointing is that? After waddling inside with a bladder swishing with water and full as a fish bowl, I am told to go home and "expect a call the following day for re-scheduling."

Do these numbnuts think I have NOTHING to do but sit at home all day waiting for their call?

Do they?

:P

Well, they didnt call.
I know because I was there.
All day.

The same disappointing day I awaited this it-aint-happening-call, my throat started to feel, well er, scraggly. I felt a little too warm and a tickle somewhere between the throat and ears bugged me all evening. I couldn't put my finger on it, but you know when you know that things are just not quite right!!
Ignoring this I wake up the following day feeling as though I'd smoked 1,000 cigarettes! My head ached and my nose annoyingly trickled despite feeling like it was stuffed to the nostrils with a box of tissues.
I was SICK.
AGAIN!!!!!!
Back to the doctors I went, making sure this time that I bypassed the A&E Dept and Dr Dolittle.
This time I saw a regular clinic duty doctor who actually sounded normal. I wonder what they find this time. A testicular rash?
He looked me over and told me that I had an infection
No, you don't say. Me?
Yet another box of antibiotics and a throat linctus later I was on my way home almost as happy as larry!
Well nearly! Except I don't know who larry is or why he is so happy?
But I'll bet my dodgy pelvis it's because he can have plenty of sex but NEVER get pregnant!
b*st*rd..
Anyway, there are tears in bed that night as I contemplate my lot.
I am worried about the third course of medicine I must take during this pregnancy. I really didn't want to take anything, and here I am swigging and popping pills at every goddam corner! Somewhere in my head I imagine a baby being born with three legs and ten arms. The culmination of my medicine popping party during his/her development.
"I'm sick of being sick" I suddenly yell at Wes who is lying on the bed trying in vain to live a normal life. He is far too quiet and content for my liking; reading the Stephen King book I had abandoned some weeks ago.
I am sitting on the toilet seat opposite him, not shutting the bathroom door on purpose so he can see and hear my misery from the bed. As I sob away, my snotty nose bubbles and my voice sounds like an old crackly radio. I get up with a deep throaty sigh and begin to slowly hobble back to bed, my pelvis throbbing once again as I walk.
"I want my body back" I yell again, through yet more bubbles and crackles!
Wes looks up at me with sympathy and weary apprehension.
He contemplates putting his book on the bedside table.
His life now depends on it.
In two minutes he will either be a dead man, or I will be wrapped in his arms quietly sobbing over my predicament.
He chooses the latter and we are at peace after twenty minutes, where he turns off the light and I begin to fall into a regular breathing pattern. I try to stay alive whilst an odd nasal symphony and my wheezy chest display a tremendous performance for both of us.
Today is sunday and I feel only marginally better. Although I am not in a hellish mood, I will try not to slink into one.
My new scan date is 28th September at 11.20 am
Woe betide anyone who cancels my new date!
That will be something to look foward to... again!
Betting stations are now open as to whether I am ill or not that day!!!

RAHHH You Wascally Wigaments!!

2007-09-18T18:10:00.001+02:00

The only word I can describe my pregnancy over this last weekend is 'plagued' with ligament pain. I also found the pains stretching from the sides of my pelvis to the "ahem" unmentionable! This apparently, on looking it up, is called SPD (symphasis pubis disfunction).

"Quote" Pain in the pubic area and groin are the most common symptoms. The two halves of your pelvis are connected at the front by a stiff joint called the symphysis pubis. This joint is strengthened by a dense network of ligaments which means that under normal conditions, very little movement occurs. In order to make your baby's passage through your pelvis as easy as possible, your body produces a hormone called relaxin, which softens the ligaments in your pelvis. As a result, these joints move more during and just after pregnancy.

The pain is usually made worse by separating your legs, walking, going up or down stairs or moving around in bed. It is often much worse at night and can stop you getting much sleep. Getting up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night can be especially painful. "Unquote"

Well sadly I am really suffering from this lately. Wes and I were shopping around on Saturday and I was hunched over with my thighs locked together taking little steps. Like a bloke who'd been kneed in the testicles. I was frustrated by this immensely. Dammit i just wanted to walk and get things done!

There is no treatment for this awful condition other than panadol, and pelvic floor exercises. Apart from that one must just sit in hope that it eases off.

One small consolation is that tomorrow is another milestone reached. The 20 week scan. Yay. I am sure the baby will look more like a baby and even though I am a little nervous, it is still exciting to finally see him/her again after two months.

I must hobble to the kitchen now to cook, but tomorrow I shall be posting the outcome of this scan so watch this space! :)

Barking Mad NHS Doctor

2007-09-14T11:48:00.000+02:00

OH MY GOD! This story is enough to make anyone die of laughter, and it happened TO ME..... LMAO!!!

Somebody headline this story in the british media! PLEASE.

NHS Doctor Unable to Tell Patient's Gender....!

After suffering alot of back and abdominal discomfort yet again last night (which I assumed could still be my bladder infection playing up), I decided to go in to A&E for a check up again this morning.

I wouldn't have gone at all except for the fact that the german Doc on Monday (and he was rather nice and courteous) told me that I should return in a couple of days if I was still getting symptoms and feeling unwell. This was so that another urine test could be taken, and they could find out exactly what strain of bacteria was upsetting my bladder. It was possible, said he, that the current antibiotics he prescribed were too mild, and I could need stronger ones. But since I had taken these ones before and they were safe in pregnancy he would start me off with them again.

Simple, yes? eh? Lovely jubbly it all sounded good to me..

But oh no.. read on...

To my anguish it was not the same doctor in A&E on duty this Friday morning, But instead some muppet with an aussie accent who must have been the NHS' No 1 practical joker.

Firstly, after telling him what Doctor A had told me on Monday, he stared at me like I had ten heads.
He then proceeded to grill me about whether my current lower abdominal pain was not just pregnancy pains or were they really caused by a urine infection or could it be something else?
Well HELLO?
I was hoping that YOU might be able to tell ME that doc??
I feel the same pain again goddamit, and it SOMEWHERE down there!
Sorry can't be more specific, its not a cramp, and its not a goddam shaft of wind!
Pain is pain is pain!
And it never shouted out to me first thing this morning .....
"Hey Paws... I'm the real cause of your pain.. right here on the left side of your bladder and I'm caused by a shitty-gloopy-doopy-cocky-streptosaurus strain of bacteria!"
or ...
"No PAWS, actually, I'm very close to your bladder so you think it's the infection getting worse, but BOO HOO.. gotcha there hun..! Really I'm a ligament pain caused by your baby kicking the goddam hell out of me!"

So I tell the nutty professor that I just feel the SAME discomfort I had on monday when DOC A told me I had an acute infection..and if I felt it again to COME BACK!
Meh!
So I end up with this nasty old boot of a man waving my pain off as 'probably' just pregnancy pains, and I'm obviously wasting his time, even though I had lain awake for at least 3-4 hours last night feeling the SAME goddam pain I felt on monday when my infection was apparently...hello..must I say it again? ACUTE!
I stare at him with a vacuous glare. That's why I'm here JACK! Just as Doc A had ordered! Does that qualify. Does it? You freak-a-doc?
So.... I'm sent off to a toilet to pass a new urine sample, and when I return, Doctor Muppet asks me to lie down on the couch.
Fair enough!
He does the usual pressing of the abdomen and goes hmm.. Then he says..
(Oh please, brace yourself here... because this next line deserves some sort of award)

"Your prostate is high."
A few seconds of silence pass then I mumble...
"Pardon?"
(I must be going deaf too in this pregnancy. I make a quick mental note to buy some cotton ear buds on the way home!?)
"Your PROSTATE is a bit high" he shouts. Annoyed that I had to ask twice.

Now hang on a second buddy, deaf or not deaf, I HEARD THAT....!
Isn't that something to do with male thingy-ma-bits...? I ponder long and hard as he moves his hands around my bump.
I deliberate over whether to ask him WTF he's talking about...... or should I just shutup for fear that women also have some sort of prostate something-or-other bit of god knows what down there, and risk him screaming at me for being so ignorant.
And this is a doctor goddamit shouldn't he know better than ME what I do and don't have in my female body??
I ignore the comment (for the time being) and he tells me to sit down again.
He rushes off and returns with my urine sample and waves it in my face, saying.
"The test is inconclusive."
I stare at him again, my eyes narrowed, like I am chugging along on some weird dream and still haven't awoken into a world of logical sense."
"Pardon?" I repeat again.
He sighs, god these pregnant women ! I feel him thinking..
"It means that you might, or hmm, might not have an infection in your urine. I'll have to send it to the lab to be sure."
"Well didn't the sample I gave on monday go to the lab? What did that say??"
"Hmm well it didn't have blood in it."
I look at him in horror.
"But 'DOCTOR A' told me there was blood in it, and that I had an ACUTE infection and I've taken 5 days of antibiotics now!!"
"Hmm yes," he mumbles, "That must have been a dipstick test which isnt always reliable. No harm done."
Your a fecking dipstick, my brain silently tells him.
"So what do I do then?" I spit through gritted teeth, feeling very confused, upset and annoyed at this point.
I really fail to see the seriousness OR humour in this Dr Doolittle character.
It seems that not only do I have an ACUTE urine infection one day, and literally NONE the next...apparently I'm also a bloody PREGNANT HERMAPHRODITE!!!
The pompous git then checks his nails as he casually mumbles....
"Just finish taking the medicine you've got I guess. You might as well."
With that he slams shut my folder and looks at me with that "Get Lost" smile on his boyzone expression.
My head is reeling with confusion by this point.
"Is THAT urine test going to the lab then?" I ask him, pointing to the feeble few drops I strained to pass a few moments ago.
"Yeah I'll send it on. And you can call the A&E department on Monday to find out the results."
"Thanks," I say. Not meaning it.
"Oh and by the way.. if they do tell you that somethings growing in there, make sure that they give you the right antibiotics to kill it."
what????? ME tell THEM to give ME the right antiobiotics!!
I wasn't hearing any of this.
Someone kick me out of bed NOW.
What a pompous idiotic bastard!
That was it.
I picked up my bag and headed for the door.
In reception I shake poor Wesley awake. The poor sod been kept up all night with my groans.
I ask him immediately about the prostate comment.
My own husband turned and stared at me like I head ten heads.
"Erm... what? Thats a male gentalia thing." he giggles.
My thoughts CONFIRMED!
I'm horrified and have to leave ASAP at that point.
"Perhaps you better let him inspect you then Wes.. maybe you've got swollen ovaries!!"I tell him in the car.
Not only was that muppet's comment (shit was he really a doctor?) hilarious, its BLOODY terrifying.
Jesus... what if the guy decided I was to have a castration. What the F*ck would they castrate?
I'm worried.
The NHS is scary.
I need to lie down to get over this.
HECK how can anyone get over a comment like THAT?
I'm bound to crack my ribs laughing about it at some point over the next decade, and then I'll need the NHS again!
Forget my fecking urine infection I have a HIGH PROSTATE guys!! (I curl up on the floor laughing maniacally whilst gagging with shock)
No please no more......
I cant take it... LMAO
I'm finished here now before the shock of this all makes my BP blast out of my chimney.... LMAO high prostate.... ME!!!!

Two dramas in one day.

2007-09-11T09:10:00.000+02:00

This week has been a complete rollercoaster of highs and lows.
For the most part, the days quietly drag on and you wonder what sort of disaster looms around the corner to break the monotony, or you create some merry little drama yourself to bounce those hormones around a bit again.
Two such dramas this week have erupted in my life, and just when I thought things were a little boring, heck along comes two dramas in one day to remind me that no it doesn't just drizzle a bit with rain, or even pour.....
NO!!!
Life absolutely comes CRASHING and it can all happen in the blink of an eye.
Yesterday - 7 am
I awoke feeling particularly dodgy!
But because I know that feeling Dodgy and Pregnancy go together like Banoffie and Pie, I try to ignore (or at least overlook) most of these grumbling symptoms. Completely accustomed am I to waking up feeling like someone pounded my lower back with a baseball bat whilst I've been asleep, or cracked my pelvis in half and glued it back together again!
Yesterday was different, to accompany those usual feelings, I knew that I had a fever and could feel my heart thudding in my chest loud and clear! I felt weak and collapsed (or should that be rolled?) back on to the bed, and groaned for a good half hour before my dearest husband awoke and realised that I was feeling much more rotten than my usual rotten.
And so, after trying to ignore that niggling worry in the back of my mind that I might just die there and then, (game over!)..I trundle down the stairs, pop two paracetamol into my mouth, sip at a camomile tea (great for stomach aches) and head back to bed in the hope that I might just be lucky enough to sleep it all off and wake up feeling er.... just plain pregnant again!
Come 2 pm I awake and feel worse than ever!
I panic slightly as I roll over and try to ignore the logical side of my brain telling me to drive to the hospital for a check up. Being a bank holiday Monday this week, the normal clinics would be shut so after deliberating for a while, I decided to make my way to the hospital's A&E department.
I was worried that whatever was happening to me could have been affecting the baby?
Or was it the baby causing symptoms which were affecting me? Either way I had to find out or spend the rest of the day worrying about it!
I meet my husband outside the hospital and we waited in the reception area. I was convinced by then that I was beginning to come down with some sort of stomach bug, even though I didn't have many symptoms pointing to that. I didnt feel very sick at all, mostly just weak, feverish and quite severe back pain.
A very handsome and tall doctor (that always helps!) greeted me and took my temperature and blood pressure. I did indeed have a fever to which he confirmed was the result of some type of infection. One pathetically small urine sample later (I had emptied my bladder before I got there!) he discovered protein and traces of blood in my urine!
YES I had a urinary tract infection which he now said was 'acute!'
How the heck it got acute when I was feeling just fine the day before is beyond me!
But I guess it was back to bed for me then, with antiobiotics and lots of fluids to flush it out!
And so here comes the next part of my dramatic day.
Driving along with my husband in tow I resolve to hit the sack as soon as I get home.
But OH NO you don't lady!! - Fate had other plans in store!
I quickly spotted and pulled in to a parking space outside my house, when WHAM, a car parked beside just reverses straight into mine as I'm pulling in! It seems the lady in the car didn't see me turning in to my space and I didn't see this woman suddenly reverse!
Heck I didn't even see anyone IN the car!
Well that was it!
I could have screamed and pulled my head off!
I didn't have a CLUE what to do next, not to mention the barrage of crispy sounding words the woman spewed out in spanish.
In order to save myself from an acute nervous breakdown to join my acute bladder, I located the accident form in my insurance paper folder, and told her I would fill this in and that was THAT.
With no witnesses apart from my sheepish husband, both of us agreed that when I pulled my car in, she reversed hers, and so which of us was to blame was anyone's guess.
Did she see me?
Did I indicate?
I thought I had.
Who cares.
I wanted to drown and disappear into nothingness..
I retreated as if a leper had pounced on me and disappeared into my house, swallowing two painkillers and collapsing onto the sofa.
With my now banging head the last thing I needed was to go over that incident again and again in my head. I just needed to CHILL.
How UNFAIR is life sometimes?
By that point I didn't care if I never saw my car again, (until of course, the next time I needed to use the damn car.)
Today I resolve to NOT care about a thing. I will ignore the phone, take my medicine and stay in bed. Not much can go wrong there can it?
The world can come crashing down if it must, I won't budge.
Amazingly though, (to end on a brighter note so that I'm not viewed as totally narcissistic and miserable) I have reached the 19th week marker! Almost half way! :)
This means that I only have to repeat everything I've done so far, once again.
Today is ANOTHER day of survival; a spurt in baby growth; pains that will come and pains that will go.
I HAVE felt the baby moving, he or she is having immense fun kicking at my now sore and infected bladder.
Toenails and fingernails are growing in my tummy and little bones are getting stronger.
I'm falling apart this week, but the baby is flourishing within me!
Isn't life amazing?

MS is back. MIL is gone!

2007-09-03T10:50:00.001+02:00

Out of the blue and after four weeks of experiencing NO sickness I wake up this morning and vomit my guts out! No warning - nothing! Gee thanks pregnancy hormones!
And no its not a stomach bug or something I ate. I know this, because I felt perfectly wonderful again after having crippled my stomach muscles for ten minutes.
Well this week brings back normality as the MIL also returns to the Emerald Isle. Quite unpredictably she did not drive me mad on this visit, mostly because she got on with her own thing most of the time. (She had been warned that I could very well turn into Medusa with ten heads in the blink of an eye.)
She only said one thing which irked me this time.
"How is your weight going?"
WHAT? I'm pregnant. I'm allowed to look like a hippo.. Geez! Fat comes with the territory! Besides I'd hate to be a skinny minny with an infected spot for a bump. Have you ever hugged a skinny person? Seriously, it's no different at all to hugging a bar stool.
Well, that's my penalty for having a mother-in-law who also happens to be a weight-watchers leader.
I was also most disappointed though to find that she refused to buy a single thing for the baby until after it was born. She didn't even show a slight bit of interest in 'window' shopping. Well, thank goodness I have bought some babygro's!! I guess if I relied on her I would be wrapping the baby in a hospital sheet after birth!
Superstitious she may be! I guess that is fair enough. Though it doesn't instil alot of confidence in you when someone sits at the sideline with that 'just in case' attitude of negativity! She believes if something went wrong it would be upsetting to see baby items. Well hello lady, I have news for you! I already have a beautiful pram and clothes and I will be decorating the nursery in the coming weeks. I am halfway there, and out of the danger zone, so whats the point of being so anal-retentive about it right to the end?
Grr some people.
Anyhoo, my own mother has delighted herself in supplying me already with baby items such as sterlisers and breast pumps, (ouch, I had a go at this and I swear its a torture device!) She's even got nappies lined up. I do think nappies could have waited a little longer, but hey, that's my mum! Never looks at anything in a negative light bless her. The baby is here and the baby is staying as far as she's concerned!
So I am now 18 weeks pregnant and showing it remarkably well. The only joys I can report this month are that I have now found a comfortable way of getting out of the bed, to complete my many trips to the bathroom at night!
Lying on your back, place both feet first on the floor.
Then slowly allow your whole body to slide off the bed!
Just as your bottom reaches the floor grab the bed sheets.
Use your arms to hoist your upper torso to a sitting position by pulling at the sheets and dragging your snoring other half toward you in the process!
Ignore his cries of shock and smoothly lean forward into a crawling position.
Crawl to the bathroom on all fours!
Reverse this process to get back inside the bed!
It's excellent as I don't use the pelvis muscles which are still hurting like crazy.
Well nothing else to report as of this moment. Ryan is back at school and hating it, grr teenagers!
I need to get some more sleep right now! All those bladder interruptions really take it out of you!
Can't wait until the 20 weeks scan! Not long to go now and almost half way there! :)
Ciao.

The 16 week hurdle over!!

2007-08-23T13:10:00.000+02:00

I was nervous about my midwife appointment today. I have been more anxious about this one than any other as they take three vials of blood in order to test for genetic abnormalities.
This test is very misleading as it does not detect an abnormality as such, but gives a percentage as to your 'risk' factor for some of these conditions.
They usually only offer to mothers over 35 and as I'm 36 I was offered the test. The way it works is that they test the blood (the test is called AFP) to see if you are a 'high' risk for carrying a Downs child, and if so, they would then offer an amniocentesis to further test if the child is in fact Downs or some other chromosomal abnormality. In all honesty, its a bit pants as you could be a 'high' risk and the child could quite easily be perfectly healthy. Similarly your result could be low risk and you are in fact carrying a child with a genetic abnormality.
That is why it is misleading! Out of every 1,000 women who take the test, about 50 will have abnormal results, but only one or two women will actually have babies with a problem.
I am absolutely confident our baby is fine. We have no history of genetic problems in either family, I just don't like these types of tests at all, they make me fret!
Apart from that I have a very purple bruise where she could not find a vein and had to keep prodding for ages. She very nearly gave up and said I'd have to come back another day, but fortunately she asked somebody else to have a go, and this other woman made sure she was going to get my blood out!! Hence the bruising!
The best part of this appointment was when I lay down flat on the bed and she placed the doppler machine on my lower tummy so we could hear the baby's heartbeat. I had already heard it before in a previous appointment, but hubby hadn't, so we were thrilled. It was like a 'whoosh whoosh whoosh' sound on the speaker.
As any mother-to-be knows, that sound is like pure gold.
What a relief!!
I did think that it sounded a little less fast than the last time, and on the way home hubby and I wondered if it was MY heartbeat she had picked up instead (it is possible to pick up your own with the same machine.) But seriously, upon debating it... how could a midwife get it wrong?
I have been a little stressed lately due to all the ligament and abdominal stretching pains which I keep getting, and no real idea if the baby is still fine or not right in the middle of all this pain.
I mean really, we pregnant women just plod on and on hoping everything is fine without really knowing at all whats going on inside us!
But I have reached the 16 week mark and so pleased to over another hurdle.
I can also happily say that I have this week felt small movements in my lower abdomen, just above the pelvis. They are deep inside but they are definately there!
A week or so ago it was too feint and irregular, and I couldn't be certain that it wasn't gas hehe.. But now its getting more frequent and a little stronger, so I'm pretty certain now that its the baby doing aerobics :)
I love it and don't want those feelings to stop. I can usually really feel it now when I am in bed after lights out. I think this is because I am completely still, not distracted, and more aware of them. They should get stronger by day, and hubby can't wait to feel them too, when my tummy starts getting big kicks!
I am 16 weeks and four days pregnant
I HAVE definitely felt the baby moving in the uterus.
Only four weeks to go until we find out if its pink or blue!! :)

Morning Sickness has left the building!

2007-08-21T08:58:00.000+02:00

Living in Spain takes some getting used to. Not only do you have to get used to the painfully slow or dangerously fast (and reckless) drivers on the motorway, but the weather is so hot you often feel like your cooking in a very high temperature whilst basting in your own sweat!
I have been patiently waiting for cooler weather to arrive. Just a cooler breeze will do! Actually, how about just a breeze?
There is nothing worse than being too hot or too cold as most people will agree. But being too hot and pregnant is like sitting in the middle of the African desert with a heavy backpack. I am grumpy, (mostly) inbetween lots of maniacal laughter... yes... those hormones again!
But I can quite happily report that the morning sickness has now left the building! Ole!
No more sleepy and unhappy husband traipsing downstairs at 6 am to fetch me toast.
No more groaning, crying, gagging at the toilet bowl.
I am free..
For now!
So to replace this ever disgusting symptom I have increased pelvic pain and breathlessness. Considering I am now carrying an extra 20-25% blood in my body and pumping this around in close to 30 degrees heat, it is no wonder that one trip up the stairs makes my heart thud and I get woozy!
On this soaring hot August Saturday, hubby and I went in search of a pram/car seat and found a lovely all in one system which we purchased at a bargain price at Toys R Us. Even though I could barely understand the assistant's explanation on folding the damn thing, I did get the idea through her gestures. We also bought a moses basket with little furry toy bees hanging from the side. It was our first proper baby purchase. But sadly, the ordeal left me almost paralysed between the legs (not a good feeling!)
After walking around the shops for so long, well hobbling is the best I can do lately, I was in agony by the time I parked the car outside the house, and walked up the path as though I was carrying a leek between my buttock cheeks!..some sort of a gay trot.. and slow enough for anyone watching to think that I had been shot right between the legs with a rifle.
Oh boy was I in pain!!
The only thing I can do in these circumstances is lie down on one side with a pillow placed between my legs and fall asleep veeeery quickly. Gee I wonder how I will cope in my eighth or ninth month? I am sure to end up with splayed legs!
Today my in-laws have arrived from Ireland. I am just pleased that they are staying somewhere else (and a fair good distance). There is no way I could cope with my controlling mother-in-law's drama's. She never keeps still, and you'd have to strap her down to keep her from whizzing around! Well, in honesty, I do like the MIL, but she's just that type of nervous person that is always in a hurry; rather annoyingly tries to organise everything and everyone around her; and you feel completely drained of energy in less than five minutes in her presence!
Not EXACTLY what I need whilst pregnant, slow and incumbant!
My own mother is the complete opposite. She is calm and totally eccentric, mostly communicating with a different planet when your trying to talk to her. And when she does talk, she comes out with some cracking lines! Most notably the one where I phoned her after my 12 week scan and told her that the baby was now 6 centimetres long. To which she repeated to my dad later that evening that the baby was 6 metres long..
"Bloody hell!! said my dad..."It's legs must be coming out of her throat!!!"
This is now making me wonder what sort of baby I'm carrying. The calm and well behaved sort of child, or one thats going to whizz around the living room at 70 miles per hour until 4 am!
Which also leads me to that point where I wonder if I am having a boy or girl! Well considering that Ryan is already fifteen years old and I could never dress him up in silly frilly pink outfits, I think it would be nice for me to have a girl!
My husband fears having a teenage daughter.. and really... if she turns out like me, I can't say I blame him! He also has this funny idea that if you stereotypically dress a girl in pink she will turn into a goth! Hmm.
Anyway I do believe that girls have lots in common together and girls always stick to their mums when their older. As the saying goes:

"A daughter is a daughter all of her life...
A son is a son until he gets a wife.."

How true is that?
So, if its a boy, I will at least be familiar with playstation games and the cost of football kits.
If it's a girl, I shall have to handle her hormones and make up bag.
Roll on Thursday for my midwife appointment and nasty blood tests!!!!
I am 16 weeks and 1 day pregnant.
I have felt a butterfly fluttering in my tummy once.. (or was it gas?)
Only 167 days to go until my ankles swell up like logs!

Its only smucking Pregnancy Brain!!

2007-08-14T14:39:00.000+02:00

My blog readers say I moan too much about being pregnant.. me? (she snorts with derisive laughter!) Surely you jest? :P

Ok, well here we go you rotters ;) lets change the subject then. As an avid reader, I have been finding it ever so hard to concentrate on books or anything that requires the proper use of my brain during pregnancy!
Yep ever so!
But whilst in town a couple of weeks ago, I saw that Stephen King had a new-ish book out called "Lisey's Story" (it might not be that new.. but this is Spain!).... So I felt an urge to pick it up and read it, even though I barely got through 'Bag of Bones,' which was the last King book I attempted.
Now I had already read reviews on this book, and judging by those reviews, my more intelligent side should have left the book on the shelf. But no.. The reason I wanted to read it is because so many people have been divided in opinion over this latest of King offerings.

They either LOVE it or they HATE it. There is no inbetween!
I was hoping I might love it.

For a quick recap the story is about the widow of a successful author (as ever?) called Lisey. Through her grieving tale we get to know more of her relationship with late husband Scott Landon, and 'his darker' side begins to emerge from the grave.
The reason I am reading this book, (about a fifth of the way through it,) is to see which side of the fence I stand in regard to King's readership reviews, and well bloody hell.. I haven't a darn clue now that I've read so many 'for and against' opinions!
Duh, pregnancy brain!!

Anyhow what I have noticed is that King's crazy verbage just got crazier in this novel! I know that his works were very popular due to his ability to express his characters inner thoughts, but I think am finding it hard to..... "SMUCKING understand, or keep up with this "bloody bool.. boo ya....." language that King seems to favour every other SMUCKING paragraph of this book!! Apart from that, I am intent on capturing the real meaning of this story, and it is keeping me occupied, and my brain conveniently OFF the groin pains!
(Anything that does that is a winner IMHO.)

So with that summed up let me say that I have yet to get working on my own novels.. ahem, cough.. (she looks the other way sheepishly!)
Sigh.... I know I can do it... I know I can do it... I know I can do it..
I just can't do it now :(
I am now suffering from a severe (oh here she goes again I hear you say..) case of Pregnancy Brain!
Here are a couple of examples:
Last night my dear husband and I watched the first installment of 'Alien'. Yes the 1970's sci-fi blockbuster with sigourney weaver wearing handkerchief-sized knickers at the end.
Anyway, as it goes I have seen this movie LOADS of times before, yet was compelled to ask my husband all the way through it what was going to happen next?
Confirmed pregnancy brain!
Not long ago I noticed our doggie, who is called Tuppence, which our Spanish veternarian will NEVER get his tongue round.. (Stuppells?? No you twit..) begging for a drink.
I was currently lying on the couch using up my imaginary and indefinite sick leave of ligament destruction. So I turned to hubby and said..
"Could you please get some dog for the water?"
?hello
Confirmed pregnancy brain!
I haven't always suffered this new ailment of course! :P
Let me tell you how wonderful it was to receive my first publishing contract back in March of this year for (what I thought was really a mediocre) article. One that I wrote in a desperate attempt to prove my worth.
And then later how wonderful it was to be PAID FOR MY WRITING!
I'm talking money (the real mccoy!) actually went into MY account for words that I HAD put down on paper...Boo ya!!!
It really is the writer's glossy cherry on the cake!
Well isn't it?
Not quite as wonderful as the faint little line on the preggy stick I might add.. which is ironic, since for years I have had such a deep fear of getting pregnant and being pregnant. (I'll thank a mean old goat of a Doctor for that one!)
So for a long time I yearned to have a baby but feared pregnancy.
And for a long time I yearned to be a writer but feared words.
Not just words I guess but my own words. Everyone elses words were ok, even the bad ones. But I always believed my concoction of words were rubbishy piles of..... boo ya!!
And that is just me! A simple woman with simple needs inside a very very complex character!
I always wanted to be a writer, and I didn't realise that all I needed to do to 'BE' a writer is to quit harping on about it, and just sit down and write.
I always detest what I write but I do have the most incredible imagination. I mean, c'mon who else can go to bed and dream about giving birth to cat, that magically turns into a chicken wing?
Well we are who we are!
And I believe that things or events that occur in our lives simply happen to make us really 'see,' who we are and what we are about.
Now there's a thought.....
As the crowded house song goes.."you can tell a man from what he has to say.." there is no bigger truth!
You can also tell alot about a person from what their parents do and say.. which somehow also makes me think of the next line of that song.. "smiling as the shit comes down.."
Just listen carefully to people and watch the points they put across. Is it all me, me, me? or you, you, you?
I think this blog has just gone in all directions like a snakes and ladders game!
Well, hey ho the good news today is that symptoms are down, and brain power is slightly up!
I am 15 weeks and 1 day pregnant
I might have felt the baby move!
Or was it just my bowels that moved?

Only 174 days until my nipples turn into the fountains of life!

...back to Lisey's Story!

Boo ya..

Hormonal warfare and those intimidating midwives!!

2007-08-09T16:35:00.000+02:00

Living in the mediterranean certainly has its pros and cons. Unfortunately when a woman is premenstrual or god forbid.. pregnant.. just about everything feels like a bloody con!
Whatever it is that turns women into crabby infernos, I've definitely had my bucket full! Firstly lets talk about the heat, and I apologise in advance to anyone whose flooded out with the rain over in the UK, but an entire three months of scorching heat has finally got me blubbering away like a psychotic shrew!
Oh, if I could afford real air con my backside would not leave the sofa for love nor money, but FOR GODS SAKE please let it rain soon!! (and not the hapless dribble we had on saturday where I blinked as I was driving along, and thought something had spat on my windscreen!)
So my first wish is for September to arrive so that I no longer find myself practicing the breast stroke in bed at 4 am as my soggy brain is fooled into dreaming I am in a swimming pool rather than paddling in my own sweat!
And how lovely it might be to put an arm round my husband again without both of us sticking together, and then peeling each others skin away as we attempt to divide!
Couple all this with my physical status.. i.e... boobs that have doubled in size (isnt that good, you say?) Well, given that they constantly feel like a herd of elephants just stampeded across them.. er NO.
Then we have theeee bump!
As much I am growing to love my bump can anyone tell me this..... .. if my baby is currently only the size of a mandarin orange, and silently nestled behind my pelvic bone.. WHY does my belly look like its suffered a major gastric explosion? And im not talking lovely round baby bump either.. im talking a major christmas dinner bump consisting of half a turkey and several hours of double choc cookie-binging!
What is going on I ask you?
Oh I and couldn't forget the chronic constipation (another reason why the hormones hate us so much.) Now I have always been fairly regular in the old number two's, so having to spend hours and hours in the toilet in agony is making me unbelievably...er...crabby!
To top all this off, every time I walk or go up the stairs, I feel a thousand invisible mini knives stabbing at my groin and pelvic area. The midwives call this 'Round Ligament Pain' where the growing uterus stretches the ligaments.
I call it ligament abuse!!
Luvely jubbly!
So is it any wonder im crabby.
NO its not.
Google tells me that all my woes are due to the Human Chorionic Gonadotropin hormone.. (called HCG by those who can't spell).... also short for Hugely Crabby Girl!
So after a trip to the maternity ward last week when I felt I was being murdered from inside out.. I was greeted and smiled at by a facetious middle-aged midwife with bad teeth and a fat belly (HA there is a baby in mine - I have an exuse!)
You know, I secretly think midwives have never had sex or babies, they are like sexually deviant nuns.. they walk about looking as innocent as granny in pink slippers, but in reality... they simply love torturing pregnant women by practicing dough making techniques on their abdomens, endlessly poking around their private gardens, and finally yanking thse babies out!!
"There we are luv, job done!"
They grin the toothy grin of.. 'ha look at her suffering..... serves her right for having sex the young hussy.' They then send you home with a box of Panadol and instructions never to come back unless you have some GOOD REASON to!
Well I have a good reason to go back!
In 171 days I shall be pushing a human being out of my body!
I'll survive you'll see!
Just give me that gas and air on the day, and the biggest bar of galaxy chocolate they make.
At least I am a real woman and my colossal breasts were achieved without a blob of silicone in sight!
In May 2007 I made a commitment to ligament pain, breast pain, morning sickness, abdominal explosion, sleep deprivation, hormonal warfare, labour pain, finally birth and then whatever nasty things goes on with the nipples whilst breast feeding. I will then spend the next twenty or thirty years of completely loving and worrying over yet another human being in my life. (I'll probably have moved into Alzheimers Street after that. ) I shall be loving him or her more than I could ever possibly imagine and forgetting all about the horrid moaning above.
But for the moment I will accept that I am..... more than anything..... hormonally imbalanced! I hope to be forgiven for my road rages and almost child-like outbursts.
And everyone out there I have called a moron and an idiot, you probably still are, but I apologise anyway.
Gee even God gets crabby fairly regularly in the bible! Go read it.
I hereby declare my right to flit from bursts of over emotion to stretches of solitary withdrawal. Ask any pregnant woman... it is all just a little bit too much!
Pregnancy is something men can never equally experience, but bless them for standing by with the sick bag and words of encouragment.
On a good note now.... ha! I will be eating everything in sight very soon, now that my nausea seems to make less frequent appearances.
My appetite MUST come back... Down with dry crackers..and yes to Korma Curry and Rice!!
I am 14 weeks and 3 days pregnant.
I have not yet felt my baby kick my ribs.
Only 171 days to go until I see the most beautiful little face in the world.

Baby Baby

2007-08-07T15:51:00.000+02:00

Five months ago I had a dream.
I dreamt that I was walking across white sands with my long black hair billowing behind me, soft and smooth. I bloomed. The dreamy translucent expression on my face showed my feministic contentment. I was pregnant. The bump was beautifully round and covered by a colouful kaftan as I drifted along the sand holding a single flower in my hand. This was my idea of pre-motherhood. This was 'the' dream.
In reality it is 5 am and I am kneeling and hovering over a toilet bowl making gutteral sounds. l heave and sound like an animal in pain, wrenched away from its comfortable environment. My stringy long hair is stuck to the back of my neck and I breathe thick and fast hoping the nausea will subside.
I can hear my husband clattering about in the kitchen downstairs. He is hurriedly making me a slice of toast. The one and only thing I can currently eat every morning to save my insides from
obliteration. I lie back in the bed groaning and praying that the nausea lets up. My stomach muscles feel as though they have been punched repeatedly. The single sheet is twisted into a sweaty ball at my feet. I turn on the fan and blast myself with sickly warm air. This is August. This is Spain at the height of summer!
My exhausted husband arrives upstairs. He resembles a sleepwalking waiter. He hands me the plate and I balance it on my huge belly in the semi-darkness and munch away at the toast without any enthusiasm. "Thank you babe." I turn my face to tell him, but he is already asleep. Hardly having remembered being awake! Aw Bless..
We are well into this routine after three months. So much so that my husband is almost programmed to fetching my early morning toast without prompting. One groan from me and he is up.. 'okay im going down' he mumbles.
Whoever said that all the fun starts when the baby is born has surely slept for a whole nine months? Or possibly not had a single symptom throughout! The fun and sleepless nights begin as soon as your bladder threatens to erupt every 3o minutes from midnight to the crack of dawn. It starts when you are quite casually walking down the street and the sudden sight and smell of a kebab as you pass the local take away makes your insides suddenly turn a full 180 degrees. There are no warnings. Things just happen!
Oh yes I convinced myself that it was all part and parcel of the joys of pregnancy. I tried to smile for the sake of the miracle inside me. There was not alot of joyful smiling until we hit that 12 week scan and saw the beautiful reason for my physical demise. After that it was all acceptable. "I will take it all, bring it on!!" I said..
Last night my husband placed his head on my belly. "I love you baby baby" he whispered.
That makes me laugh. I am his baby, so the little one is his 'baby baby'.
He knows I am suffering. He knows that all he can do is continue to love me and that is all I need. Soon baby baby will be in our arms instead of sandwiched between us like our little dog Tyson used to be whenever we embraced.
But this is no Tyson. This is a new human being made up of 50% him and 50% me.
I am 14 weeks and 1 day pregnant.
I have seen and heard the baby's heart.
I have not felt the baby move.
There are only 181 days to go until we meet this little person.
How amazingly wonderful is that? :)
Life is bliss.

All Day Hellishness!!

2007-08-07T12:18:00.001+02:00

Just when I thought the worst was over, scraping through three months of feeling totally subhuman, this week brings me a new kind of morning sickness, as well as throbbing headaches and a fatigue that could quite easily beat snow whites 100 year slumber.
With sad regret I hasten to report that I wake up tired, nauseas, aching and sometimes even guiltily wondering what sort of demon possessed me three months ago when I allowed my husband to 'have his way!' Worse still, I have absolutely no desire to finish any of my novels.. writing them that is.. even though I swore I would finish the hi-tech thriller by the time this baby was born. Seems like concentration cells have upped and left me along with all the other desires I might have had before I turned into a spewing unrecognisable alien.
And the funny thing is, when this baby finally comes out of its cave, I shall love it to bits and forget about all the nasty symptoms it has caused for months.
For the love of God, I'd really like to know exactly what is going on inside me! I mean seriously, it was one thing to be feeling nauseas 24/7 where you ultimately accept it as your fate and go with the ride... sipping constant drinks, eating dry crackers and other rabbit type foods in order to quell the inferno inside. You do all you can to eradicate those mean hormones from turning your stomach into a cesspit. I got used to it, I quietly lived it and tolerated it. Three months later I woke up one morning and never groaned once. I immediately thought wow its over.. job done.
At 13 weeks gestation I was about to celebrate being on the other side of the sicky green door but alas no.... A mere three days after my smug status, I sat here one evening quite happily slurping up a huge forkful of spaghetti bolognese, only to find that those demonic hormones in my stomach suddenly had other plans for me. I felt that ubiquitous burning rise in my throat, the hairs on my arms stood to attention, the pores of my skin tightened with familiarity. I screwed up my face and realised with horror that I was literally about to heave whilst I was still chewing on my food!!!!!!
This was a new one on me! Confusing? You bet.
I swallowed,
I hiccuped,
I choked and I laughed as my husband stared at me through a forkful of mince, the way the whole Nostromo space crew stared at John Hurt in the classic film 'Alien' just before the little stinker burst out of his stomach on the dining table. Okay I didnt quite manage such dramatic results but before I knew it my as yet 'undigested' meal was back on the plate.. Eughhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
So..never say never! Morning sickness now needs to be called something else.
'All day hellishness' if you please!
Oh well.. at least I can lie in bed most of the day, and pretend its all happening to someone else by dreaming that I am in fact a weightless and svelte little fairy with wings. Fairies don't GET hormonal tantrums, aches, headaches and ligament pains, As for ligament pains lets enjoy that little story in the next post...
Excuse me whilst I run to the loo..

12 week scan reveals our new life!

2007-07-26T15:56:00.000+02:00

Today 26th July 2007 Hubby and I attended my twelve week scan. I have been anxiously looking forward to this for the last three nauseous months! At last I would see my baby and see exactly why I have been spontaneously combusting hormonally every five minutes. I had to admit I was nervous, with all the sad stories of babies dying or something going wrong at any stage in the first trimester, heartbeats not being heard etc etc.. well I was praying the whole way to the hospital that my little bean would be safe and well tucked away inside my pelvis. Granted, I had suffered no bleeding and apart from the dreaded morning sickness and some aggravating pelvic/hip aches I could not cry wolf about much at all!

So there we were looking at the screen and up popped the image, I thought I might cry for a second but pulled myself together enough to relax. The sonographer had a little moan at me about not having a full bladder which is necessary to push up the baby for a good photoshot! "But I've drunk LOADS of water" I told her sheepishly. "Obviously not enough" she moaned. Well I guess I failed to mention through abject fear that alot of the water I had drunk had quite unexpectedly flown out of my mouth like a Roman fountain, behind a parked van just a few minutes before I arrived. Regardless, we continued on and there was quite a bit bigger bean...facing downwards on his/her tummy, my own favourite sleep position, (this child takes after me of course :)

The little heartbeat was ticking away and after seeing that, a tremendous heaviness slipped away from my shoulders. Baby Acheson was OK. And that was all i really needed to know.. as every mother really needs to know. I wasnt sure I would get one, but I got two scan pics! Top Banana! Daddy still looked half asleep, not sure he'd really woken up since he slid out of bed, but baby and mother were happy and ticking away in unison.

Now we can safely let everyone know (well the very few, if any, we forgot to tell :P) about our pregnancy. Cakes all round folks!